Deckard: She’s a replicant, isn’t she?
Tyrell: I’m impressed. How many questions does it usually take to spot them?
Deckard: I don’t get it, Tyrell.
Tyrell: How many questions?
Deckard: Twenty, thirty, cross-referenced.
Tyrell: It took more than a hundred for Rachael, didn’t it?
Deckard: [realizing Rachael believes she’s human] She doesn’t know.
Tyrell: She’s beginning to suspect, I think.
Deckard: Suspect? How can it not know what it is?
The first two times I tried to watch this movie, I fell asleep shortly after the introductory scene. Normally I would be inclined to jump to the obvious conclusions: this movie is so boring it renders me comatose. I’m so glad I decided to give it a third go, though, because it contains so many things I love. Let’s count them: Harrison Ford, film noir, robots (aka replicants) who become self-aware, futuristic Los Angeles and flying cars. I’m inspired the most by Harrison Ford’s voiceovers, which make me want to narrate my own life. “She scoffed that the writers neglected to foresee cell phone technology, but she was not thwarted. She was determined to finish the movie without closing her eyes. The credits rolled, and she was so overjoyed she completed her task that she decided to give robots the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they’re not all out to destroy us, she thought, maybe not.”
Major T. J. “King” Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days’ concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
It just so happened that I watched “Lolita” and “Dr. Strangelove” in the same week, both for the first time. I felt exhausted after both movies, my emotions rubbed raw and my sanity tested. Kubrick is not for everyone, I realize, but I enjoyed “Dr. Strangelove” a lot more than “Lolita.” For starters, it was funny, just the kind of war farce that seems as scathing today as the year it was released (1964). It asks the question: “If someone effed up and started World War III, could we count on our leaders to fix it?” The answer is a resounding “no.” I found myself laughing out loud in parts, and I was strangely inspired by Slim Pickens as Major King Kong, especially as he mounts the bomb as it’s being dropped, yee-hawing the entire way down. If you’re going to go out, that’s the way to do it.
