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Feeling out of control? Keep reading for a few small ways to get your shit together.
And this is not just lip service, either. I’m giving you some actionable steps, not just “meditate” or “visualize success.”
But first … I’m not going to lie. The other day I did NOT have my shit together.
I was spiraling down so fast my anxiety didn’t even have a chance to catch up before I was in despair.
It was what I call a VBD. Very. Bad. Day.
Worldwide crises like the one we are in right now — unseeable, unstoppable, unrelenting, unending? — can really do a number on all of us.
There’s no normalcy. So we have to take it upon ourselves to create routines and rituals that help us take back that teensy, tiny sense of control we so crave.
Here are 12 of those routines.
12 Small Ways to Get Your Shit Together
1) Make your bed.
Several years ago I listened to a speech that changed my life immediately.
It was a commencement speech by a Navy admiral that went viral — maybe you’ve heard it. In it the speaker breaks down several lessons he has learned in life and how they can help you change the world.
He starts with the smallest idea: making your bed as soon as you wake up.
“If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.”
Admiral William H. McRaven
Now, every morning, no matter how annoyed I am at the task or how groggy I am from waking up before I want to, I pull the covers back up and fluff the pillows.
It truly is a good feeling to start your day off with a win.
2) Create your uniform.
Have you ever noticed how highly successful people tend to wear the same things over and over again? Think: Mark Zuckerberg’s gray tee, President Obama’s gray or blue suits, etc.
There’s a reason for that.
If you wear the same thing, or nearly the same thing, every day, you are cutting down on decision fatigue because you aren’t wasting precious brain power on whether to wear a skirt or jeans.
This can look different at different times in your life, obviously.
When you’re working in an office, perhaps your “uniform” is slightly fancier than your work-from-home outfit.
A small WFH suggestion? Leggings are awesome (I love them, too) but at least try to level up your torso game — save the old t-shirt for after work hours.
A cami and cardigan go a long way to help you look put together when you’re on a video conference call. The bonus: You might actually feel better, too.
3) Set 3 small goals for the day.
I heard about this method from Elise Blaha Cripe, who wrote about the process in her book, Big Dreams Daily Joys.
When she was a new mother and exhausted from keeping a newborn alive, she limited her daily to-do list to three SIMPLE things. Things that would give her satisfaction at accomplishing something, but they were not so big that she couldn’t handle them.
She says this daily list is a good practice when things are feeling out of control. Like right now.
TIP: Here’s a free printable planner you can use to jot down your three daily goals.
4) Make a Later List.
When things are really, horrifically out of control (like a global pandemic that has no end in sight), try sitting down and writing your Later List.
These items can include things like:
- Make dentist appointments
- Get the baby up to date on her vaccinations!
- Renew driver’s license and car tags
- Get a haircut
- Pay that bill that’s impossible to pay right now
- Find a job once anyone’s hiring ever again
These are items that are super important but you can’t handle right now, for obvious reasons.
Jot them down — get them out of your head and onto paper. Then pin them onto your fridge.
FINALLY — and this is most important — LET THEM GO FOR NOW.
When life starts to resemble something other than a Dumpster Fire, revisit this list and take care of business like the boss you are!
5) Wash dishes once.
I can’t remember where I first heard this, but it was another one of those EUREKA! moments for me.
Instead of leaving dishes to soak in the sink only to return later to pack them into the dishwasher, rinse them at once and put them straight into the dishwasher.
Teach everyone in your family to do the same.
Voila! You’re only touching the dishes once instead of twice. Life changer.
6) Clear your inbox.
My husband has 23,530 emails barking at him at any given moment.
It drives me crazy! I can’t stand to see any red bubbles with numbers in them. Maybe you feel the same way?
First, stop checking your email constantly. It’s that beck-and-call culture that society would have us believe is necessary. It isn’t.
Here’s my strategy:
Set reasonable times to check in (maybe even create alarms on your phone to help you).
Then, and only at those designated times, should you go through and sort your mail into three boxes: TRASH (majority, I’m sure), REFERENCE and INBOX.
- INBOX: Respond immediately, then archive them.
- REFERENCE: No need to respond. Just keep the info in case it’s needed later. (Receipts, follow-up work instructions, etc.)
- TRASH: Buh-bye!
It’s that simple!
7) Throw a dance party.
Do you feel like exercising? Yeah, neither do I.
I never do. Probably my biggest character flaw. But I do feel better after I do exercise.
If you’d rather stab yourself in the eye than hit the treadmill (hand raised), perhaps this tip will be of use: Turn on your favorite music. (I like this playlist on Spotify.)
Then invite everyone in your house to join you for a dance party (even if it’s just you inviting yourself, that’s totally fine, too!).
Tell yourself you will dance for the length of one song.
Then tell yourself: Just one more song!
Once you get going, you’ll have a hard time stopping.
8) Tidy up for 2 minutes.
I swear we didn’t have this much stuff before the Stay At Home order. And now all of a sudden I’m knee deep in toys, music equipment and power cords for every device we’ve ever owned.
When the clutter gets out of control, try the 2-minute method.
It could be (1) an actual timer, (2) a song of your choosing or (3) any of the millions of timer songs set up for children.
Queue up your 2 minutes, and then get to tidying. You’ll be amazed at how much you can improve your surroundings in such a short time.
9) Drink a cup of water.
You’re not dying. You’re just dehydrated.
Apparently even mild dehydration could make you spiral out of control, impairing your energy levels and mood, and leading to major reductions in memory and brain performance.
So sip up for a really easy, quick fix that requires only that you muster up the strength to fill your cup.
10) Check the news only once per day.
When I was a journalist, my first few jobs required me to scan the news wires to find stories that were newsworthy and credible.
It taught me two things: Government spin is an evil, unrelenting machine, and knowing too much about what was going on in the world was making me alternately sad and jaded.
When I moved into entertainment media and away from the daily wires, I instantly became a happier person.
As Cypher notes in The Matrix, ignorance truly is bliss.
So what to do? Times like these call for being in the know. Yes, you’re right. But here’s how you can protect your mental state:
- Only check the news once per day.
- READ the news from reputable sources. Do not watch TV news, listen to government spin (the real Fake News) or go down a clickbait hole on your Facebook timeline.
- READ the news from your local newspaper if you are blessed to still have one. You will find out important info like testing locations, where to help, where to go if you need help, etc.
- When it starts feeling too heavy, stop. You are only one person. You can’t carry this weight on your own. Do something soothing now.
TIP: Stay away from partisan media and stick with reporting that quotes three or more experts. When in doubt, consult this chart and choose from the news sources that fall within the green rectangle.
11) Delete social media from your phone.
If you feel your mental state spiraling out of control after checking in on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, then by all means DELETE THOSE APPS.
12) Create a sleep-time routine.
If night-night routines are good enough for babies, they’re good enough for you!
Babies like milk, stories and rocking in a chair. Maybe that’s your jam, too, but feel free to get more sophisticated.
Some suggestions for rituals to adopt:
- Drinking a cup of tea
- Putting on a beauty mask
- Brushing your teeth/face
- Taking a relaxing bath
- Reading a book in bed
- Setting an alarm
- Meditating
Doing the same thing in the same order night after night will provide some semblance of order to your day that you may be lacking.
Much like starting the day by making your bed, finish the day with a win, too.
Bookmark for Later
That’s it! I hope you feel a little more in control of your life now. You can save the graphics below in case you need to reference this post in the future. Pin, save & share with your friends.
TIP: If you are feeling so much more together that you want to redecorate your house, I have you covered. Browse the freebies, shop the printable store and try a tutorial to create an entirely new vibe!
