There you were, just a smart-ass social zero working your way through Radcliffe when you meet Harvard hotshot Oliver, whom you immediately peg as being stupid and rich. He says something like, “I could be smart and poor.” You say, “No, I’m smart and poor.” He says, “Well what makes you so smart?” And you tell him you won’t have coffee with him. He says, “Well what if I wasn’t even gonna ask you to go out for coffee with me?” And you say, “Well that’s what makes you stupid.” He is drawn to your witty nature and you are drawn to his hockey moves. His father hates you, but you and Ollie don’t care. You get married, support him through law school and live in a crappy apartment. It’s perpetually cold. You’re constantly clad in a hat and scarf. Sometimes you make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while he completely ignores you to read some textbook, but it’s OK, because love means never having to say you’re sorry.
