Let’s talk today about the things we think we should like because good grief, everyone else on the planet seems to like these things … but you just don’t. It could be anything. Food. Behavior. Sports. Entertainment. Clothes. I want to hear your deepest, darkest annoyances.
Or shall we call them guilty displeasures?
I almost feel anti-American saying that I dislike this sport. As if admitting to the world that this game — a bunch of huge men wearing bulky padding and tight tights and throwing a ball up and down a field — is not my idea of a good time, I will be ousted from the country immediately, deported on the basis of “she is not with us, so she’s against us.” I grew up in a football family. We had a history of watching the Kansas City Chiefs lose together. Tailgating was kind of fun, I guess. But then I would pull out a Babysitter’s Club book and read the entire time, completely oblivious to the ups and downs of the game. I wonder if my parents ever thought they wasted money on my ticket.
It’s so pretty. Isn’t it? I want to love it very much, but I can’t get over the feeling that I’m chewing my own tongue. That’s what raw fish tastes like to me: Raw tongue that has been cooled in a serial killer’s freezer.
It’s like a really weak fairy is trying to strangle my ankles slowly, all day long. Similar to how Mitch Hedberg felt about turtlenecks.
4. Hot coffee
Dear Hot Coffee,
You taste so much better slightly chilled with two ice cubes.
5. Photo-editing apps
I have a lot of photo apps downloaded on my phone. I try them out, loving them intensely for 15 minutes, then I never use them again. I wish this were a problem I reserved for free apps, but no. I’ve paid for some I never touch. Camera+, Over, Rookie, Typic, Flickr, Afterlight, A Beautiful Mess … all of them wasting space on my phone. I’m feeling the same way about Pippit. Is anyone else using Pippit? Please tell me I’m not the only one who hates it. (I will probably be excommunicated from the blogosphere for daring to speak ill of this “hip” app, but oh well.)
I can’t tell you how many times I gave westerns a try, especially during my 100 Movies project. To quote myself: “I just can’t get into westerns. Maybe it’s a genetic thing. Maybe it’s a female thing. They just do not appeal to me.” Not only do they not appeal to me, they actively annoy me. I barely tolerated the third “Back to the Future,” and it was just a faux western. Maybe it’s all the dust. Maybe it’s all the brooding testosterone and heaving bosoms. Can someone please explain “Blazing Saddles”? Or “Bonanza”? What am I not getting?
What are some things everyone likes but you don’t? Please tell me I’m not alone on football.