The best thing about December is the constant stream of holiday movies on television, all tempting you, saying, “Hey! Watch me! I’ll make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” But it has to be said that not all of these movies are created equal. Some only make you feel fuzzy, which truthfully has more to do with your hot toddy than the movie, am I right?
That’s why I’ve compiled my list of 10 standards, movies you can invite into your holiday repertoire year after year without them overstaying their welcome.
(Well, OK, so “A Christmas Story” is on for 24 hours straight on some channel, which is like 11 times too many, but you catch my drift.)
Top 10 Christmas Movies
1. Home Alone
Will warm your heart if you like: Precocious children, hijinks and shenanigans, independence, Angels With Filthy Souls, sleeping in the attic, forgetful yet well-meaning families, idiot bandits, being reunited with estranged loved ones, learning to not judge people
2. Home Alone 2
Will warm your heart if you like: Everything about the first “Home Alone,” New York, Angels With Even Filthier Souls, Tim Curry, toy stores, getting lost in airports, limousines, mini tape recorders, ending up with your father’s wallet and spending all his money, befriending homeless women
3. Elf
Will warm your heart if you like: Zooey Deschanel and her lovely singing voice, smiling, candy, oversized elves, childlike enthusiasm, innocence, making snowflakes with paper, getting excited to see Santa, exploring New York City, pushing all the buttons in the elevator, singing loud for all to hear
4. Bad Santa
Will warm your heart if you like: Bernie Mac in a cowboy hat, Santa showing up to work drunk, advent calendars, fat kids, eating at the food court on your “f*$#ing lunch break,” holiday capers, pink stuffed elephants
5. Santa Claus the Movie
Will warm your heart if you like: Catchy theme songs, finding out about Santa’s back story, snow — lots and lots of snow, Dudley Moore playing an enterprising elf who nearly ruins Christmas, being on the sleigh when the reindeer do the SuperDuper Looper, 1980s New York, lollipops and candy canes that make you fly, quashed corporate greed
6. Gremlins
Will warm your heart if you like: Unusual presents from Chinatown, high-maintenance pets, awesome sweaters, gremlin attack via a Christmas tree, the most depressing Santa story ever told, pillaging of the local department stores, a tray of gingerbread men used as a weapon, being creeped out by the song “Do You Hear What I Hear?”
7. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
Will warm your heart if you like: Overdoing it with the Christmas decorations, unexpected guests, inedible holiday meals, hiding gifts in the attic, going sledding, singing carols in the car, picking out a tree way too big for your house, getting that year-end bonus from your employer (or not)
8. Babes in Toyland (1961)
Will warm your heart if you like: Nursery rhymes, choreographed dance numbers, the Forest of No Return, a demented toymaker, good old-fashioned fun, sugar, spice and everything nice, miniature humans invoking a toy soldier army all in the name of love
9. A Christmas Story
Will warm your heart if you like: Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifles (with a compass in the stock), getting your mouth washed out with soap, getting your tongue frozen to a flagpole, lamps shaped like legs, snowball fights, giving a bully his due, blaming icicles for your stupidity, getting what you wanted, Chinese food on Christmas
10. The Holiday
Will warm your heart if you like: To get away from it all, trying someone else’s life for a change, a nice, lighthearted rom-com starring Kate “She Can Do No Wrong” Winslet and Jude “He’s So Fine” Law, walking in the snow wearing inappropriate shoes, making plans for New Year’s
Bookmark for later:
