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| Me and Mom, 2004 |
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| Me and Mom, 2005 |
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| Me and Mom, 2006 |
When my mom was alive, she used to say, “Just you wait” whenever I did something ornery, as in “Just you wait till you have kids.” I used to think she meant that my kids would torture me in the manner that I apparently tortured her. But now I think she meant that I would actually become her.
It started almost immediately after Alexa was born in January. I looked at her and words started coming out of my mouth that I never thought I’d say. “Oh goodness!” and “sugar booger” and “honey bunny.” All things she used to say to me and my brother. I never would’ve thought “sugar booger” in particular would sound natural from my lips. I mean, what does that even mean? Your boogers are sweet as opposed to all those sour boogers? It’s so absurd. Still, here I am, cooing at Alexa, calling her “sugar booger” and petting her head like Mom used to do to me.
Then H pointed out that I was starting to LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER. Now comparing myself to her my entire life I never thought we looked much alike. She had light hair, I had brown hair. She had perfectly straight teeth, I didn’t. She had dimples, I didn’t. But get this. I now have dimples. And it’s freaking me out.
What will be next? Will I perfect her disapproving stare? Will I be able to mirror the proud twinkle in her eye? Will I start carrying gum around in my ginormous handbag? Will I have the capacity to soothe my baby even when she’s a young adult? Will I develop eyes in the back of my head? Will I begin to enjoy people watching and start to despise salad dressing and ketchup and mustard? Will I procure a plethora of pink shirts?
I am tickled that I’m turning into my mom, but I wish I didn’t have to.
I wish she were here. I wish she were here to meet her granddaughter and call her “sugar booger” herself.
