10 In Lifestyle

What I Learned My First Week on the Paleo Diet

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I’ve mentioned a few times that I’ve started a new food challenge — Whole30 (I did not sign up for anything; I’ve just read about the principles and I’m applying them to the best of my knowledge). In a nutshell: no grains, no dairy, no legumes.

In my research I found a lot of conflicting ideas about what is/is not included in the paleo diet. I’m keeping it easygoing for these 30 days. I’m not freaking out about any trace amount of soy that is in the tiny bit of vinaigrette I put on my salad, for example. If that makes my challenge moot, I guess I’m not hardcore enough. (So sue me!) The point for me is to reset my body from craving things such as pizza and Snickers bars and pasta and cookies.

Mmmm, cookies.

Anyway, I had read that the first week eating paleo would be torture in so many different ways. So I thought it would be interesting to take a few notes during my day to let you know how it was going for me.

Day 1
Can’t have this. Can’t have that. Can’t have coffee because I only like it with creamer. Can’t. Can’t. Can’t. Hmm, I can have this. Without rice. Without croutons. Without a slice of bread. Interesting, I can actually taste what I’m eating now that I’m not diluting it with bread/croutons/rice. Go to bed hungry.

Day 2
Out with family and feeling tired/hungry/cranky. Need to eat, but where to go? Quick search on my phone leads us to Chipotle, where we order salads with meat, veggies, pico de gallo and avocado. Cannot even eat half of it. Full. Still, I feel hungry. Does that make sense? And oh so cranky.

Day 3
Potluck at work (pictured above). Torture to the nth degree. All I see are cupcakes, cookies, doughnuts, cheese, bread, scones. I don’t even like scones and I want one. At least I brought some fruit platter and someone else brought a veggie platter. Also, thanks to an understanding colleague who brought asparagus sticks wrapped in roast beef and smoked salmon. Still. All. Day. Long. Around these temptations. I whimpered and moaned quite a bit. Almost went off the program, but friends urged me to stay strong. Also, I’m hot. Sweaty, crazy hot all day long. Willpower makes me break into a sweat.

Day 4
Why! All the leftovers from the potluck are still taking over the joint. PLUS there is a carb city of breakfast lined up against the wall. Bagels, doughnuts, cereal, juices, yogurt. Work is crazy right now and there are pick-me-ups all around the office. “You picked the wrong time to start a diet,” a friend says. It’s true. But, I tell myself, maybe not. It is bringing to light all of my eating flaws. I am not really hungry. I am stressed. I do not eat well under stress. I turn to comfort foods. Now there is nowhere to hide my stress. I have to deal with it on the surface.

Day 5
Headache. Or is it a migraine? It does not go away all day, no matter how much water I drink, how many headache pills I take. Is this coffee withdrawal? I am so tired. It is 2 p.m. I am numb. I am not craving anything, but I want to eat something that’s not on the program. Anything. Maybe bread. I do not eat anything. I go to bed hungry, but I’m too tired to care.

Day 6
Utter exhaustion. I have a random day off work in the middle of the week, and I guess I needed it because I actually took a nap with Alexa for two whole hours. What! We venture out midday, and I know I won’t be able to make it unless I get a small fix of coffee. I do not drink much, and it takes my headache away temporarily. I weigh myself in a fit of curiosity (I promised myself not to for 30 days). I’m down 4 lbs.

Day 7
I’m used to feeling hungry all the time. I have a short circuit, though. Everyone step back a few feet. I snap at a few people who ask me about my paleo diet. “I do not want to talk about it!” I bark. WHO ORDERED THIS PIZZA? Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Day 8
I am craving bagels with cream cheese. Hungry, but cannot finish my paleo dinner. I might be tired of meat. I’m not a big meat eater. Again with the pizza at work. Grrrrrrrrr.

Day 9
I finally feel somewhat normal. A little rundown. A little rough around the edges. I still feel hot all the time! Food choices do not bother me; I am thinking in terms of what I can have instead of what I can’t. We ate a hamburger without the bun for lunch. I didn’t miss the bun, but I missed the act of sinking my teeth into a bun. Kind of like how ex-smokers say it’s not the cigarette they miss but the physical act of putting an object up to their mouths? That’s what this is like. Killing an addiction.

What I’ve learned:
1. I do not care about dairy nearly as much as grains.
2. I miss eating a piece of toast with my eggs in the morning.
3. I miss my coffee.
4. I love frozen grapes, really love them.
5. Fruit tastes sweeter now than it did before.
6. Breakfast is a difficult meal to make without grains.
7. Cereal substitute (yummy, too): cut-up apple, walnuts, cinnamon, almond milk.
8. Coconut “shake”: ice, almond milk, coconut milk, coconut, banana.
9. This mantra actually works to put things in perspective: “Going without coffee for 30 days isn’t hard. Fighting cancer is hard.”
10. I want a piece of chocolate no matter my stress level.

Twenty-one more days to go.

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