I sleep with the fan on. Even in the winter. I’m thankful to have a husband who doesn’t reach over to strangle me when he wakes up in the middle of the night shivering. It’s because he realizes that it’s my dealbreaker habit, the one thing that could unravel our collective sanity if he were to push back too hard.
Do you have a dealbreaker habit?
I have a theory that everyone does.
For instance, H can’t start anything new unless it’s an “even” time. He has to start on the quarter hour, half hour or on a 10. He once put off going to the kitchen for a beer because it was 10:23. He waited seven minutes to pop open a small taste of heaven, so you know it’s a serious fixation.
Alexa can’t sleep without a lamp on bright enough to blind someone. I have to sneak in later to turn it down. If I try to turn the light down while she’s awake, well … you’ve heard the term “screaming bloody murder” before, right?
Some Habits Are More Popular Than Others
You might think that because I care about something like white noise while I sleep that I care about the orientation of my roll of toilet paper. You would be wrong!
I keep coming across all kinds of studies and memes about toilet paper rolls and the “right” way to put them on. Do you go over or under? Apparently you’re an idiot if you do it the “wrong” way. This is by far the most polarizing dealbreaker habit, and perhaps the most popular.
According to some study (seriously, someone somewhere considered this a real research topic), 70% of people like it “over” and 30% of people like it “under.”
What about those of us who just don’t care? Where’s that margin of error?
Because never in my entire life have I cared which way the roll was on the spindle, as long as it was actually on the spindle.
Exhibit A:
Source: Doghouse Diaries
I understand the toilet paper debate is a widespread thing, but let’s not forget that there are several where that comes from.
Maybe you can’t stand it when your toothpaste tubes get squeezed from the top?
This exchange from “Forget Paris” comes to mind:
Ellen: Do you sleep with the window open?
Mickey: Yeah.
Ellen: I don’t like it. You will have to stop that.
Mickey: Ok.
Mickey: Do you squeeze the toothpaste at the top or the bottom?
Ellen: Top.
Mickey: Don’t do that I hate that.
Ellen: If you ever use my car, make sure the mirror is back where I put it.
Mickey: Ok, I can do that.
…
Ellen: All right. Do you want to talk about religion, politics, whether you want to have kids or not.
Mickey: Nah, that crap will work itself out, we’ve handled the big issues.
Ellen: Ok, I’ll marry you.
For the record, I like to sleep with the fan on and window open in complete darkness, with all the doors shut. I don’t care about cracks. I don’t check the minute hand before I do something. I squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle. I’m the only person who consistently puts toilet paper on the spindle in this house, and I do so without prejudice of roll orientation (although I just checked both bathrooms and both rolls are “under,” so read into that what you will).
What about you? What’s your dealbreaker habit?
